Back to top

The emotional aspects of infertility

After many months of trying to conceive, with so many illusions that do not culminate in the "positive" craved, and after a visit to a specialist, you get the diagnosis of infertility.

The diagnosis provides relative calm, because it has different causes and reasons that may explain what so far not understood: What's going on? Why us? Why did we wait so long?

Having identified the problem, we can determine the different procedures that can help realize the dream of parenthood. But until you get to take this step, many couples live with anguish. feelings of sadness, anger, guilt and frustration that surprises and scares appear.

In most cases this situation exists with family and social silence, hiding the problem, thinking that something so personal and private is the exclusive property of the couple. Hence the difficulty of making the decision to go to a specialist and have so share with third parties your personal, emotional and sexual intimacy born.

It is crucial that the couple is very united throughout the process, because once that address the problem and come to the specialist and begin treatment must also face the fact that you probably have to undergo several repetitions of treatment before having the awaited result.

Couples undergoing infertility treatments live in a constant emotional roller coaster that often requires professional help.

Studies have shown that infertility is associated with psychological distress. The long duration of the studies, the number of tests, looking for the right time for sexual intercourse, hormonal treatments, can all be very stressful.

All methods of assisted reproduction have a failure rate and repeat treatment cycles without achieving pregnancy can be very distressing for the couple.

Infertile couples talk about feelings of anger, guilt, frustration, isolation, failure, grief, anxiety, reduced self-esteem and quality of life. For all this is the crucial importance of maintaining a strong relationship with the couple, in which there is much support and understanding.

Understand and support your partner

Face difficulties conceiving can be overwhelming. Unfortunately, when we are under stress we tend to get angry with those closest to us, often our partner.

Men and women are different: they communicate, deal with their emotions and solve problems differently. They also tend to face difficulties conceiving differently. Being conscious of these differences can help them avoid misunderstandings and face their treatment journey as a team.

In general, women tend to confront a problem directly, talking about the same. They seem naturally able to share feelings, especially with other women, who are looking for support or advice. Whatever the problem, like all the objective facts. The websites, forums, books or magazines: there is always some advice to adopt.

On the other hand, men tend to work things out on their own. them not so natural to share their feelings and try to prevent a problem interfere with their daily routine. That can lead somehow to wonder to what extent the subject matters to your partner. The answer may be that matters much, but that puts it in a different way.

This does not mean that the position of one of the two is correct, but be aware of these differences can prevent misunderstandings, besides helping to address the problem as a team.

Join your partner more

Most couples who have undergone fertility treatment say the experience brought them closer, despite the difficult moments that had to happen.

Consider the following tips to keep your relationship couple together:

  • Agree as to the expectations you have of each other without asking too much.
  • Develop a plan for the future. It helps put things in perspective and to focus on what is important if you have to make tough decisions.
  • Do not allow fertility dominate their lives. Conversely, if there is something you need to talk, depart from a specific time and think a little what will be the best place. A walk in the park can be more relaxed than both sit face to face with a table.
  • Make a conscious effort to plan something fun as there is no need to talk about their fertility. It is important to create some balance in your life.
  • You can turn to yoga, meditation or exercise to help you focus on something else.

Strategies to deal positively fertility treatment

During fertility treatment, help your partner to positively manage their feelings and keep a balanced life. Follow these tips:

  • Learn about infertility, its causes and treatments.
  • Accept that your partner may feel the need to share feelings more or less often than you. Agree on limits, privacy and build a support network that meets your needs.
  • Minimize stressful activities and separate time for yourself.
  • Organize occasional surprise. Will keep them together as a couple and remind them why they have decided to undertake together treatment.
  • Try to go together to the doctor's appointment for you both understand what is happening.
  • They admit that periods of depression or anxiety may occur.
  • Plan the next step if fertility treatments fail they are doing or need repeat treatment cycles.